Summary: Jack had always known it would come to this: Daniel leaning up against him, pressing him against the wood of the front door. Daniel’s mouth hungry against his. Daniel’s cock hard against Jack’s thigh.
One Night For A Lifetime
For Donna aka Wintestar because she asked so nicely for someone to write something like this.
Jack had always known it would come to this: Daniel leaning up against him, pressing him against the wood of the front door. Daniel’s mouth hungry against his. Daniel’s cock hard against Jack’s thigh. They’d danced around the possibility for long enough that tonight when Daniel was leaving and had suddenly turned and pushed him up against the door, Jack wasn’t even a little surprised. There’d been such inevitability to them consummating their relationship sexually from the first day Jack had laid eyes on Daniel seven years before. No, he wasn’t surprised by any of it except that it’d taken them so long to get there.
He dragged his mouth away from Daniel’s and pushed him away so he could look into his eyes, needing to read the truth there but Daniel fell against him, his head buried in Jack’s shoulder, murmuring, “Please don’t say stop,” over and over.
In answer Jack ducked out from under Daniel’s arms then turned and grabbed him by the hand and led him to the bedroom.
In the quiet aftermath of their passionate lovemaking, Jack sat up on the side of the bed and looked down at Daniel.
Daniel had a sweet half smile on his face, his eyes half-lidded and drowsy. He looked sated and content, more content than Jack could ever remember seeing him.
Jack hardened his heart against the sight. He leaned down and brushed a chaste caress across Daniel’s kiss-swollen lips. “This can’t happen again,” he whispered into Daniel’s warm, sweat-slick skin as he pulled away before Daniel could pull him into an embrace.
Daniel’s eyes opened fully at the words and he sat up, grabbing the sheet to cover his nakedness, turning so he was sitting at Jack’s side. “Why not?” he asked. “You telling me you didn’t want this, haven’t been wanting this almost since we met?”
Jack shook his head. Daniel deserved his honesty at least. “You know I did,” he said. “I think that was pretty obvious.” He gave a rueful half-grin at the memory that came to his mind then shook it off with a shrug. “It won’t work, Daniel. Not with me being Air Force and you on my team.”
‘The whole DADT thing?” Daniel said sharply. “It was pretty obvious you’ve been with guys before.” He indicated the torn condom package and lube on Jack’s bedside table with a slightly shaking thumb.
“Yeah, well, that was before,” Jack replied. “When you’re in Black Ops and away from any women…” He let the explanation trail off into the silence hanging between them. He sighed and stood up. “It just wouldn’t work,” he said. “And I’m a Colonel now…” He turned and gathered up Daniel’s clothes from where he’d tossed them after pulling them off him the night before, put them on Daniel’s lap and headed for the bathroom. “Look, I’m sorry. If things were different…”
“Yeah, well, I thought they might be now but I guess not. Don’t worry, Jack, your secret’s safe with me,” Daniel said, standing up and getting dressed quickly. “I won’t out you to the Air Force or the SGC.”
And wasn’t that the rub? Jack thought as he turned on the shower and stepped under the welcome warmth of the water. He wasn’t actually sure what secret he was afraid of getting out. That he was bisexual or that he was in love with Daniel.
He’d only been out of the shower five minutes when his cell rang. He picked it up, saw Daniel’s caller ID and flipped it open. “Yeah,” he answered.
“What did you expect would happen after last night?” Daniel asked, more than a little wistfulness in his voice.
“I don’t know,” Jack said. The bedroom smelled of sex and Daniel and he tucked the phone between his neck and chin and started stripping the bed, bundling the sheets and pillow covers up then tossing them into the laundry basket next to the dresser. “I guess I thought we’d get it out of our systems and be able to go back to working together like we always have.”
“Okay, thanks. That’s all I needed to know,” Daniel said. “I’m sorry I came across as needy. I really had no intention of doing the whole ‘will you still respect me in the morning” thing. I’ll see you back at the base in a couple of days then. Bye, Jack.”
Jack flipped the phone closed then gathered up the basket of bed linen and took it out to the garbage bin outside. There were going to be enough reminders of this night every time he looked at Daniel from now on. He didn’t need to see them every time he remade his bed. Castigating himself for giving into his feelings about Daniel, he went back inside and drank enough Scotch to make not dreaming a possibility then went to sleep on the couch.
“He belongs to you? To your heart?”
Jack looked up from his silent vigil at Daniel’s bedside and saw Melia, one of the village women, standing next to him. “I’m sorry?” he said, knowing full well what she meant but choosing to play dumb.
She rested a calloused hand on his, where it lay over Daniel’s limp one atop the rough blanket. “When Nevon was wounded in battle against the evil ones last season, I too sat like this, willing him to come back to me.” She smiled wistfully. “We had been married many years and there were times when I felt our love was a thing of the past. Yet when he was so still, so close to death’s door I wanted nothing more than to bring him back to me and begin our life again. I would have asked even for just one night, a night for a lifetime. You feel the same for this one.” She patted Jack’s hand then put the bowl of water and a cloth down on the floor at Jack’s feet. “Bathe his head and hands with this. It contains an herb that will seep through his skin and help lower his fever.” She lifted the blanket covering Daniel and peered at the bandage over the wound in his shoulder. “The poultice is doing its work,” she said. “If his fever goes down, he will recover, I am sure of it.” She lifted her hand to Jack’s face and patted his cheek gently. “Don’t wait too long when he wakes to tell him how glad you are that he’s returned to you. You may not have the chance again.”
“Nevon?” Jack asked softly, touched by the woman’s honesty and the unmistakable anguish in her eyes.
“He did not return to me. He lives now with the ancestors,” she said. “My chance was lost. Yours does not have to be.” She inclined her head then turned and left the hut.
Jack sighed and picked up the rag, dipped it in the water and wrung it out then began to wipe it over Daniel’s face and arms. “Damn it, Daniel,” he whispered as he began. “Why do you always have to be the hero? Jumping in front of me and taking that staff weapon blast… Don’t you know how much you mean to me?” He stopped and shook his head ruefully then took up his task again. “Guess the answer to that is no. I didn’t exactly tell you that, did I?” He leaned forward and rested his forehead against Daniel’s. “I will though. Just make it through this and I promise I will.”
“His fever appears to be decreasing.”
Jack startled awake, opening bleary eyes to see Teal’c standing beside the bed, his big hand resting on Daniel’s brow.
Teal’c turned to look at him. “I came to tell you that I am accompanying Major Carter back to the Stargate. She feels enough time has elapsed that the SGC may have now found a solution to our problem and been able to reactivate the gate.”
“Good,” Jack said, rubbing his hand across his gritty eyes. “Let me know ASAP. The sooner we get Daniel back the better.”
“Indeed.” Teal’c inclined his head and made as if to leave but then stopped and looked into Jack’s eyes. “Twice now I have lost those I considered the love of my life,” he said gravely. “I would urge you not to make the mistakes I did, O’Neill.”
“I know that on your world such relationships are not easily accepted,” Teal’c replied, “but does that mean they are less valid, less meaningful?”
“It’s a bit more complicated than that,” Jack said, somehow not surprised that Teal’c knew his feelings for Daniel. “I’m Air Force-“
“I have learned there are more important things than duty, O’Neill.”
Jack turned back to look at Daniel’s face. “Yeah,” he said, “I think I’m learning that too.”
“Major Carter wishes to see Daniel Jackson before we leave,” Teal’c said.
“Send her in,” Jack replied.
“Sir,” Carter said as she took Teal’c’s place at Jack’s side. “How’s he doing?”
Jack placed his hand on Daniel’s cheek. “Temp’s going down,” he said. “He’ll be okay.”
“Um, I just wanted to say that if you and Daniel…” Carter blushed. “I mean, I just wanted you to know I have no problem with it, sir. I know there was a time when I thought maybe you and I… but that wasn’t to be and I’m glad now because it would never have worked out. I’d probably have zatted you within a week of the wedding… Oh god, forget I said that, sir. I’m just glad he’s going to be okay and I guess I’ll get going now, back to the gate, see about getting us home.”
Jack grinned, stood up and planted a kiss on her cheek. “Thank you,” he said. “Go work your magic, Carter. Let’s get Daniel home.”
“Yes, sir.” She turned to place a kiss on Daniel’s forehead and whispered, “Hang in there, Daniel,” then turned and headed out of the hut at a run.
Jack looked down at Daniel as they readied him for transport back through the gate. The SGC had come through as Carter had thought they would, eventually rectifying the problem with the gate and sending through a med team as well as a team of marines for backup just in case they encountered any more of Ba’al’s Jaffa on their way back to the gate. It had been an uneventful trip though, the only real problem had been keeping Daniel on the stretcher as his fever decreased and he became more lucid and kept demanding to be allowed up to walk on his own. Jack had scotched that idea with a firm, no nonsense, “This is one order you’re going to obey, Daniel. Now just stay on the damned stretcher or I swear to god, I’ll throw you over my shoulder and carry you through the gate ass-first!” He grinned as Daniel snapped his mouth shut at that and lay back reluctantly. “Okay, let’s go home,” Jack said, ushering the stretcher-bearers through first then herding Carter and Teal’c in after them. He brought up the rear with the marines and by the time, they hit the ramp on the SGC side, Daniel had already been transferred onto a gurney and was being wheeled off to the infirmary with Dr. Fraiser scurrying along beside him, barking out orders. Jack would have liked nothing better than to follow them but he had a mission report to deliver, not to mention a much needed shower in his very near future he decided, and Daniel was in good hands. Still, he found himself following the gurney to the door of the gateroom and watching till it disappeared out of sight. “Um, permission to shower before the debrief, sir,” he said, looking up at General Hammond through the glass of the observation window. “Believe me, you’ll thank me.”
“Permission granted, Colonel,” Hammond said, smiling. “One hour then, people. Get yourselves some food as well once you’ve cleaned up.”
Jack patted Teal’c on the back as he passed by him on his way out the door. “Thanks, T.”
“You are welcome, O’Neill, though I’m not sure what it is you are showing gratitude for,” Teal’c replied but there was a twinkle in his dark eyes that told Jack he knew exactly what Jack meant.
“You too, Carter,” Jack said, turning to her from the doorway, “not for the wanting to zat me part though.”
Carter blushed bright red and Jack laughed then turned and headed for the locker room and his long anticipated shower.
“How’s the patient, Doc?” Jack asked as he entered the infirmary and made his way over to Daniel’s bed.
“The patient’s just fine and he can speak for himself,” Daniel said grumpily.
“Well, apart from the mood, he’s going to be all right,” Dr. Fraiser replied, joining Jack. She smiled down at Daniel affectionately. “It was a nasty wound but whatever the native people gave him helped to not only reduce his fever but to halt the inflammation so he’ll be up and about in a couple of days. And,” she fixed Daniel with a firm look, “no, you can’t go home. I want to give you a course of IV antibiotics just to make sure there are no nasty little gremlins lurking around in the wound. It looks clean but I’m not taking chances with any alien bugs you might have picked up over there.”
Daniel opened his mouth then shut it quickly as Jack held up a finger warningly. “Fine,” he said. “I’ll stay till the antibiotics are finished.”
“Good,” the doctor said, giving Jack a grin on her way back to her office, “I kind of thought you might say that.”
Daniel tried to sit and bit back a yelp of pain.
Jack reached a hand under his uninjured arm and helped him up till he was half-reclining against the pillows. “Just ask if you need help,” he said. “Daniel, thanks for saving my life out there,“ Jack paused, “even though I thought I was the soldier and you were the archeologist so it should have been me saving you not the other way around.”
“You’re welcome,” Daniel said, a small smile finally creeping across his face. He yawned widely. “Sorry, they shot me full of pain meds when we got back here,” he said apologetically.
“No problem,” Jack replied. “I was just heading home anyway. Unless you need me to hang around?” He indicated the chair next to the bed. “I don’t mind. Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve spent the night in a chair in the infirmary while you snoozed the night away in a comfy bed.”
“No, it’s fine,” Daniel said quickly. “You go on home, get your beauty sleep. You need it.”
Jack tapped him lightly on the back of the head for that and was rewarded with the first chuckle he’d heard from Daniel in what seemed like forever. “Okay,” he said. He waited a moment then took a breath and went on, “We need to talk sometime soon, all right? As soon as you’re out of here?” He made it a question and almost kicked himself as he saw a sudden guarded look in Daniels eyes.
“I thought we weren’t going to discuss that ever again,” Daniel said flatly, coolly.
“I thought we weren’t going to either,” Jack replied honestly, “but now I think we should, don’t you?”
“Sure,” Daniel said, closing his eyes as if in dismissal. “As soon as I get out of here.”
“All right.” Jack held himself back from the kiss he wanted to place on Daniel’s mouth and patted his arm gently instead. “See you soon.”
Daniel didn’t reply and Jack turned and walked out to the elevator.
Jack slammed down the TV remote after switching off the television and walked across to the window of his living room. Daniel had been discharged from the infirmary four days before but he’d never shown up at Jack’s as he’d promised he would. Nor had he called. Jack had tried calling him a few times but Daniel always claimed he was just on his way out to somewhere – an appointment, the barber, grocery shopping - and finally Jack had decided maybe he’d just give him more time before Daniel complained to Hammond that he was being stalked by his commanding officer or worse yet called the cops. However, Daniel was due back at work the following day, though only on light duties and Jack had really hoped they’d be able to have the conversation he so desperately wanted to have before coming face to face at the SGC where they’d both have to keep their feelings so closely guarded.
He’d given Melia’s words a lot of thought while he’d been sitting next to Daniel’s sickbed offworld, and even more once they’d gotten safely back home and he’d known Daniel would recover. Jack had never been one for wearing his heart on his sleeve. It was one of the many things Sara had complained about when they were married. Now though he’d decided it was time to turn over a new leaf or at least make an attempt to. He’d already lost too many people he loved – Charlie, Sara, his parents, and he wasn’t sure that any of them knew just how much Jack really had loved them. He wasn’t going to make the same mistake with Daniel. He’d almost lost him too many times already and if, god forbid, Daniel was ever in mortal danger again, Jack was damned well going to let him know how much he was loved by a certain crusty old Air Force colonel beforehand.
Now decision made, Jack grabbed his keys and headed out to his car. He’d left Daniel to stew over things long enough.
He banged on the door as hard as he could when he arrived at Daniel’s house. He wasn’t giving Daniel the chance to say he’d sleeping and hadn’t heard him knocking. He waited for a minute and had just raised his hand for another barrage when the door opened and Daniel appeared, propping himself against the doorframe.
“Jack?” he said laconically, no surprise in his face at seeing Jack there.
“Daniel,” Jack replied, pushing him past him into the house. “You gonna invite me in?”
“Seems like you’re already in,” Daniel murmured just loud enough for Jack to hear but he followed Jack into the living room and walked past him into the kitchen where he pulled two beers from the fridge. “Want one?” he asked.
Jack wanted to ask him if he had anything stronger. He had a feeling beer wasn’t going to cut it as far as loosening his inhibitions any but he nodded and took the bottle when Daniel brought it over to him. ”You were supposed to call me when you got out,” Jack said, sitting down on one of the sofas.
“I’ve been busy,” Daniel replied, sitting opposite him and sipping on his beer.
“Yeah, I know. Barber, appointments, grocery shopping,” Jack said.
“Yep. I would have got around to you eventually.” Daniel looked at him steadily and Jack took a quick gulp of his own beer.
“Jesus, Daniel, you’re gonna make me say it, aren’t you?” he said, putting the bottle down on the glass topped table with a sharp clatter that made Daniel wince and caused beer to slosh out onto the glass. “Sorry,” Jack muttered, wiping the table with his sleeve. He took a deep breath. “I was wrong,” he said after a moment, “about pretty much everything. I know I’ve been wrong about stuff before but this was a doozy to be wrong about. I’m not the kind of man who finds it easy to admit that, though I know you may find that hard to believe, but it’s true. I was wrong, okay?”
“What about, Jack?” Daniel asked and Jack could have sworn he saw a predatory gleam come into Daniel’s eyes, the sort of look he got when he knew he was about to get the upper hand over Jack in one of their day to day type of arguments.
Jack picked up the bottle and downed the remainder of the beer in one long swallow then placed the bottle ever so gently on the table. He looked up in time to see a smile quirk the edges of Daniel’s lips. “About everything,” he said. “Well, everything between you and me, anyway. Look, I don’t find it easy to admit my feelings to anyone and I have to admit I really did hope that once we’d done the deed, so to speak, it’d be out of our systems and we could just go back to the way things were but it’s not. Not out of my system. You’re not out of my system and I don’t think I want you to be.”
“Are you trying, ever so obscurely, to tell me you love me, Jack?”
Jack glared at him but Daniel was smiling now, a broad smile that lit up his blue eyes. “Yes, damn it, you smartass, that’s exactly what I’m trying to say.”
“That’s it? Just okay? You’re not gonna say anything other than that?” Jack asked hotly.
“Well, I thought it was pretty obvious I love you, Jack. After all, I was the one who called you straight after we, as you euphemistically put it, did the deed, and carried on like a high school cheerleader who’d given her virginity to the captain of the football team.” Daniel put his own beer down then walked across to sit on the coffee table in front of Jack. “So,” he said, taking one of Jack’s hands in his, “what brought all this on, this sudden baring of feelings? Not that I’m complaining; I’m just curious.”
“Something someone told me when you were wounded on that godforsaken planet,” Jack replied honestly. “They reminded me that life is short, sometimes too short to risk losing what you’ve always wanted.” He pulled Daniel forward and kissed his mouth softly.
“Always?” Daniel asked.
“Always,” Jack replied. “I don’t want just a night for a lifetime. I want a lifetime.”
“With me?” Daniel asked.
“No, with General Hammond,” Jack replied mock-grumpily. He rolled his eyes. “Of course with you.”
“Okay,” Daniel said.
“That’s it? Again with the okay.” Jack shook his head then leaned forward and kissed Daniel again. “How about we start that lifetime tonight?” He grinned. “I swear, Daniel, if you just say okay again…”
Daniel laughed and stood up, taking Jack’s hand and hauling him up. “I love you too, Jack,” he said as he towed him along to the bedroom.